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I want to give you a glimpse into one of my upcoming books, Husband is not Master, Helpmeet is Not Subordinate…which would be out in the next few months. The introductory chapter I am sharing with you, which I have split into two parts, for this blog is titled The Human Challenge.
But from the beginning, it was not so -Matthew 19:8.
Human life has always been lived on the edge of a precipice. Human culture has always had to exist under the shadow of something infinitely more important than itself -C. S. Lewis.
In Jesus’ day, there were two dominant Rabbinical Schools of thought. They taught ethics, ritual practice, and theology, and they included the subjects of marriage and divorce.
One of them was the House of Hillel (Beit Hillel). This school believed that a man could divorce his wife for any reason, even for things as trivial as not liking her anymore, or she prepared a terrible lunch! The other school, the House of Shammai (Beit Shammai), taught that divorce was only permissible on very grievous grounds such as adultery.
Interestingly, both schools based their divorce teachings on the same scripture reference:
When a man hath taken a wife and married her, and it comes to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house -Deuteronomy 24:1, KJV.
The first school suggested that the phrase “…that she find no favour in his eyes” was grounds enough for a husband to give his wife a divorce bill.
The second school based its position on the phrase “…because he hath found some uncleanness in her.” To them, the word uncleanness was synonymous with adultery.
With that in mind, the Pharisees came to tempt Jesus in the hope of pitching one of these schools of thought against Him. Jesus responded to their test by referring to God’s intent “in the beginning.” He refers to the beginning twice in His response (Matthew 19:1-12).
Since The Fall, man has fashioned out his own ideas of good and evil or right and wrong, and they are mostly relative. Excluding his Creator, he devises ethical, religious, social, political, legal, and economic systems which are at variance with God’s plans and purposes.
On the issue of marriage, he has developed his ideas on the subject, and like the Houses of Hillel and Shammai, he sometimes uses scripture or God’s name to back his claims. Despite this, Christians must always seek to find the truth of God’s intent as it was in the beginning.
Challenges do occur in human relationships. Everyone faces a crisis from time to time, and we should not make trivial any crisis people might be facing in their lives, nor should we dismiss them and assault their sensibilities by charging them for lacking in faith. Even for the three-year-old clutching an ice-cream cone, if the cream falls off the cone unto the floor, that is a major crisis as far the child is concerned, and you cannot convince him otherwise.
However, no matter the crisis one may face in life, there are values and principles that underlie the essence of human relationships that we cannot violate, except to the peril of those relationships. They usually have effects that extend to society at large and generations unborn.
Personally, I have had intense challenges in my marital experience, including divorce and remarriage. These challenges motivated me as a Christian to seek answers from the Word of God. In doing so, I determined that I must allow the Word to throw light on my experiences from His perspective. I resolved to be careful not to permit the problems I faced to be the yardstick or to colour my reading of the Word of God.
In addition, I sought to have a high level of introspection to determine where I might have missed it personally. Without equivocation, I knew I needed help from God, and I sought Him for it.
In all, and very importantly, I was single-minded to put in practice His blueprint from the knowledge and understanding I gleaned from my search in His Word (I still search His Word).
Today, my wife and I deliberately seek to follow the prescriptions of God’s Word. Consequently, notwithstanding shortcomings from time to time, our marital life is on a sound footing and on course. God’s grace has been sufficient for us.
Paul, while writing to Timothy, his mentee, said he knew that in the last days, perilous times would come, and in subsequent verses, he describes the character of the times:
For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive, silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth -2 Timothy 3:7.
As we contend with the spirit of the “last days,” we see its character manifest in practically every gamut of human existence, and marriage, the most primal of human institutions, is not spared its onslaught as fundamental Christian values are under siege.
One of the ways to destroy or significantly weaken something is to undermine or distort the underlying principles and concepts that form the foundations and pillars that support and sustain its structures. One of the ways is deception through outright lies or the mixing of half-truths with lies.
Foundations are usually not visible, but essentially, they are the most important part of a building. Their strength is the strength of the building and their weakness, the weakness also.
Foundational compromise is not usually manifest except, with time, when cracks in the structure become visible or more dangerously when a building collapses without warning. We need to build on the right foundations of truth. This book addresses fundamentals.
The purpose of this book is to help people. To help people understand who they are as God created them; to help them understand His purpose and intentions for mankind: male and female; for husband and wife, and each one’s place in the marriage relationship as God designed it in the beginning. Because when a purpose is unknown, as Dr Myles Monroe would say, abuse is inevitable.
Also, I have written this book in response to certain teachings about the relationship between husband and wife that raise concerns we need to address.
They are teachings that have caused distress in many homes. Christian men and even pastors claiming to be the “masters” of their wives engage in vile atrocities while instructing their wives to be quiet because they have no right to speak as they, their wives, are subordinate and must submit without complaining. Their wives, according to them, are to be seen and not heard. Some men and women want to get out of these environments, but they feel trapped.
As believers, we receive the word preached with meekness. With open hearts and minds, as we hear or read any teaching by anyone, we must learn to put on what I call ‘sanctified thinking caps.’ We must develop the habit of searching the scripture to see if these things are so.
Do the teachings indeed tally with the Word of God, or do they only appear to do so? Do they mirror the person and character of our Lord Jesus Christ? Do they reflect His light and glory or cast shadows on the principles, tenets and practice of our faith? (Acts 17:11; James 1:21-25).
In the New Covenant, ‘revelation’ from God is redemptive. Any revelation that claims to be from Him ought to build us and bring us into the place of God: the place of His intent and pleasure.
Revelation from God will never bring people into bondage or cringing submissiveness to men. Such “revelation” will be from somewhere else, definitely not from God (Romans 8:15; 2 Corinthians 11:20; Galatians 2:4; 4:3).
But [on the other hand], the one who prophesies [who interprets the divine will and purpose in inspired preaching and teaching] speaks to men for their upbuilding and constructive spiritual progress and encouragement and consolation -1 Corinthians 14:3, AMP.
We cannot afford to be simpletons. The value of a single soul is too great. All believers, laity and clergy, need to always thoroughly search the word to substantiate the thoughts that come to our hearts and minds as revelations while we receive teachings, study, meditate, speak and act.
We must learn to guard our hearts diligently because they influence everything else in our lives. Let us not fool ourselves. Satan’s attack of deception is primarily through the heart and mind. I say again, carefully guard your thoughts because they are the source of true life (Proverbs 4:23, CEV).
Friend, we continue our discus in the second part of this blog.
Meanwhile, you can obtain my other books at www.amazon.com/author/solomonaror.
Until next time, do not forget to keep living, loving and learning.
References: Extract from the book Husband is Not Master, Helpmeet is Not Subordinate: Marriage as God Intended It, Manhood, Womanhood and Male Headship in the Marriage Relationship – by Solomon A. Aror. (COMMING SOON)
Nice piece. Well done sir.