Please, we need to talk! I can’t take this anymore! What do you mean by this? You have been so inconsiderate! The power bill is overdue. Maybe we should talk! Creative conversations loading!
In the few years I have lived, I have come to realise that we all have moments in our daily lives when we need to “talk to” someone or vice-versa. Remember the times when your spouse would come to you and say, “Darling, we need to talk,” and you are like, ‘O…k!’
When we engage in ‘honest talk,’ how we say something is as important as what it is we say. Particularly when it comes to our dearest relationships with our spouses and children; our cherished ones with our friends and relations; and our essential ones with our bosses and colleagues.
Our relationships depend a lot on good communication to flourish. The right word at the right time is like precious gold set in silver -Pro 25:11, CEV.
However, before you speak, always do your best, as a wise person, which I believe you are, to communicate your position by the wisdom of your words rather than of the volume of your voice. If it is necessary, at some point, you might want to “Lower your voice and strengthen your argument,” as the Lebanese proverb says. Good judgement is vital.
Now, if at any moment you find no wisdom in the words you are about to speak (which happens to us all from time to time), you would do yourself a lot of good to give yourself this very important advice- SHUT-UP! At such a time, your silence will truly be golden and perchance the proverb, “even a fool is counted wise when he keeps silent” (Pro. 17:28), will cover the folly of your thoughts, resting assured that no one knows what you are thinking unless you have the misfortune of being one of those who take pride in dispensing pieces of their mind at the slightest provocation. I think it could be tragic if you finally gave away every piece of your mind!
The essence of your speaking should be to communicate your thoughts or ideas in a clear-to-appreciate manner with some kindness. Your goal should be to win a heart and not a war of wits.
Personally, I believe, barring any moral compromise, it is more profitable to win the heart of a person than to win a battle of wits and words.
You do not want to win the battle but lose the person. That person could be a friend of several years, your boss (Your boss? Do your best not to lose this one if you love your job). If it is your spouse… no… no… no, don’t even get there!
Fewer things hurt our relationships more than the words we speak and how we say them. Some years ago, I heard a speaker say that in trying to communicate romantic feelings to your wife, you do not say, “Honey, you have cat eyes,” but “Honey, you have kitten eyes”. For crying out loud, what’s the difference? Well. If you tried the first ‘compliment’ on your wife, you might just spend the next two to three weeks learning the difference. Let me assure you, in this one, “experience is not the best teacher.”
Also, one needs to be “quick to listen and slow to speak.” Effective communication is empathetic. You sincerely want to understand the person you are having a conversation with. You do not want to put your reply or argument in holding while the second party is yet speaking, so you are not listening. If you are not a good listener, this is a good time to pretend to be one. My dear friends, you should be quick to listen and slow to speak or to get angry -James 1:19, CEV.
If at any time in your conversation with someone you drop some damaging words, the words “I am sorry” would not be out of place. In fact, this would be a good place to be quick to speak!
You do not have to run away from ‘important talk’. You cannot tell, a challenging relationship with your spouse or loved one might just be given the fillip it needs to set it on the road to “happily-ever-after”.
It is said, our words can fill our lives with good things. I pray that through your words, your life will be filled with good things always.
Always think before you speak! Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt… -Colossians 4:6, NKJV.
Thank you. Do not forget to keep Living, Loving and Learning.