Over the weekend, the story about a father who went berserk, clobbered two of his children and then attacked his own father with a pestle was in the news. Sadly, the children did not survive. What would reduce a man to such a state?

We are in difficult times and the days are evil. Challenges present as though they were insurmountable. Fathers who stand as warriors for their wives and children are succumbing to the pressures of life.

The demands of life and society have multiplied since the time of our forefathers. Life is no longer that simple and we cannot be simplistic about the realities.

Some fathers just run away, others literally jump in the lagoon. Some lose their minds, others bury their heads in the sands of alcoholism or some other mind-altering substance to dull the pain or shame of not been able to be what they know they ought and really want to be for their families: responsible husbands and fathers. Others who are just not there have taken some escape route, while there are those, who though present are not available.

Friends, a father’s got to be a father. We must stand, ourselves depending on the Father of fathers to strengthen and uphold us. Macho is not running or turning away from Him or running roughshod over our loved ones. We need His wisdom to navigate the treacherous waters and jungles of our time. The scripture encourages us with these words:

With all your heart, you must trust the LORD and not your own judgment. Always let him lead you, and he will clear the road for you to follow. Don’t ever think that you are wise enough, but respect the LORD and stay away from evil. 

As much as we desire to take the hands of our children and lead them along life’s pathways, God our Father is much more desirous to take us by the hand to show us the way. We must permit him to do so. He invites us to trust Him.

No temptation has you in its power but such as is common to human nature; and God is faithful and will not allow you to be tempted beyond your strength. But, when the temptation comes, He will also provide the way of escape; so that you may be able to bear it. 

On Father’s Day some years ago, I received a message from a fellow father, which read, “What would life have being without the Father: Mentor, Provider, Motivator, Defender, Disciplinarian, Instructor, Friend, Hero and Leader. This is our heavenly Father.”

Need I say more? The words speak for themselves being pregnant with meaning. It is our heavenly Father’s example of fatherhood that we seek to follow. This multi-tasking responsibility is both a challenge and a joy.

My father, Dr Blackie Igho Aror, was a lecturer at the University of Lagos where he headed one of the engineering departments. I have faint and few memories of him, having lost him as a child. However, let me share this one with you.

It was a scene in which I stood on the bonnet of his car. I was singing using one of the windshield wipers as a standing microphone. It was in the heydays of Tom Jones and James Brown. You can guess the punishment I took that microphone (wiper) through! Well, my dad smiled and either asked me to come down or brought me down. I do not really recollect that part of it.

Fellow fathers, how do our children see us today, also for what would they remember us? Better still, for what do we want them to remember us? We can deliberately create memories or we can just allow life to pass on while we do our own thing. I recently read Proverbs 17:21 in the New Living Translation:

It is painful to be the parent of a fool. There is no joy for the father of a rebel.

I reversed the thought. Would it be painful for my son if his father was a fool, or would he be robbed of joy if I were a rebel?

Indeed, there are many sides to being a father. Fatherhood is a multi-task responsibility that demands the best of our resources and us. Notwithstanding, God has a very deep responsibility for us as fathers.

I remember Abraham, whom the Bible describes as, ‘the father of our faith.’ God said this of him (Abraham):

I have singled him out so that he will direct his sons and their families to keep the way of the Lord and do what is right.

What an awesome responsibility. Is it not God’s aim of making us fathers because “…He seeks a godly offspring?” Fellow fathers, how well are we scoring here?

Fellow fathers, this is our assignment. Raising a godly offspring and heritage transcends our lifetimes and us. It is eternal and it brings glory to God.

Let us not lament the mistakes we may have made in the past, but look ahead to the great future we can create for our children with the help of God our Heavenly Father. As we do that, let us celebrate ourselves as ‘Fathers of the Day.’

Finally, it was Ingrid Trobich, I think, who said in one of his books, that one of the greatest gifts we can give to our children is to love their mother.

I pray God to give us the courage and grace to do the right things to and for those whom we stand as Mentor, Provider, Motivator, Defender, Disciplinarian, Instructor, Friend, Hero and Leader.

Do not forget to keep living, loving and learning. Thank you.

References: Proverbs 3:5-7, CEV; 1 Corinthians 10:13, Weymouth; Genesis 18:19, NLT. Malachi 2:15, NKJV.